Tuesday, April 12, 2011

Faith, Why is it so difficult at times?

If you are anything like Lee and I, sometimes you find God's direction for your life being relayed to you in a whisper..or in subtle hints and signs of what you are to do.

For us in this adoption... its more like a trumpet being blown through a Bull horn...Amplified by the strongest speaker. One would think that would be all we need right? Nope, not us.

LONG story short... After the agency told us there was no guarantee, we allowed fear and doubt to seep in. We never sent in our contract with the check to get the process really going. We sat on it for a week. Then, this past weekend, our wonderful, amazing God decided to step in and calm our fears..and remind us that he is in control of this.

Three seperate times this weekend, God told us that this is a test of our Faith.

First was Saturday morning, in a video Lee and I watched. At the end, a screen popped up with these simple BUT OH SO POWERFUL words.
" Once our eyes are opened, we can't pretend we don't know what to do. God, who weighs our hearts and keeps our souls, knows that we know, and holds us responsible to act." Wow. That about sums up the feeling we had..

Second- We are taking off on a little trip to Vegas ( for GOOD CLEAN fun) this weekend. Although we had gotten a pretty powerful message that morning, fear was starting to return. Gosh, so many things we could do with this money, the adoption might not even happen! We DESPERATLY want to adopt, but were we prepared to deal with the fact China may come back and say no? After all this time, money and mostly heart invested?
Then that afternoon, two checks came in the mail totaling 800 dollars. One we had never expected to see, and the other was from an item we had just recently sold, the person hadn't even collected the item yet! They even included 50 dollars more than the sale price, and told us to enjoy our trip! Again, God was not giving our fears a way out.

Third- On our way to Church Sunday, we talked about how, in all honestly, scared we both were that this would all fall through. We knew it was God's will and plan for us, but still so much fear. Then, the pastor gave a sermon, we feel, directed to us. He spoke of how Jesus was saying " JUST TRUST ME". Let go of your fears and just trust in the Lord! How many more signs does he need to give you, how many more ways does he need to tell you what to do. Trust trust trust.

And after Church...We went STRAIGHT to Blu C sushi, signed our app, and mailed it off Monday morning ( from Sarah's work).

No more fear, worries, wonderings, only Hope, Faith and trust.

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